Sunday, October 29, 2006


Pathetic...


Forgive him father, for he did not know what he had done...

Tears soaked my shirt one rainy evening... No, it wasn't mine, it was my friend's... This scene wasn't very common, especially when I'm with her... For she was always happy, she always flashes her beautiful smile... I didn't expect that this night would be different... There was no smile to be seen... Tears flowing down from those lovely eyes... I felt her pain, her sorrow, her despair, her agony, her hatred... I empathy her...

She recently had a break up with his boyfriend... Because of family matters... Her family was not the "welcome-to-the-family-my-daughter's-boyfriend" type... They were one of the "over-protective" ones... You guys know what I mean, you get the picture... But then, her ex boyfriend took it the wrong way, went ballistic and said things... Things that are not pleasant to the ear... Even I was affected by their conflict... From that moment, he showed his true color... Pathetic... I pity you my friend...

Why? I'll tell you why... Even within the duration of their relationship, her boyfriend was already flirting with someone else... He didn't even realized that he is already backstabbing her... Unfaithful... Immature... Bullshit... After he had learned the bad news... He already replaced her... As easy as snapping his fingers... Just like that... Bullshit... He made her look bad, he made her look like she was the one who was wrong, he made her look like she was nothing, he made her look like she was the worst girlfriend in the whole world... Pathetic, what do you think guys? Who the hell is wrong?

She only did was to love him, be true to him, and be faithful... I know how much she loves him... I know, for I was with her everytime she had this feeling of butterflies in her stomach, I was with her whenever she's smiling at him... I was with her from the moment she fell inlove with him... I guess, she loved the wrong person... Better yet, she loved the WORST person...

Love is not suppose to be all sweet stuff... Love must be faithful, true and understanding... But what he showed was none of that... He never really loved her at all... All he ever wanted was to make out... Just like he did with his other gf's... Damn... Now tell me, who the hell is Pathetic?

For her... You were never wrong... You did the right thing... I should've warned you earlier... I'm sorry, if only I have learned your relationship much earlier... Don't worry, I won't leave your side, Trust me, eventually everything will be ok, someone will surely come your way... You deserve someone better, you deserve someone who will truly care for you... You just wait... Pray always and never forget God... Take Care of yourself...

For him... (Warning! Parental Guidance is very much needed) PUTANG INA KANG GAGO KA, ang kapal ng pagmumukha mong tang ina ka... Akala mo kung sino kang gwapo! Ano ka? Kras ng bayan? Nakakahiya ka... Naawa ako sayo alam mo ba yon? Tang ina, makakarma ka ring gago ka balang araw... Bobo ka kasi eh, hindi ka naniwala sa reason niya, bobo, inutil... Ginawa lang naman niya ang bagay na alam niyang tama para sa inyong dalawa... Pinili niyang magtapos ng pag aaral... Eh ikaw na bobo ka, gusto mo lang kasi makipag talik... Pakingshet, tang ina, balang araw makakarma ka rin... Bahala ka sa buhay mo, Goodluck na lang sa inyo ng bago mong Gelpren... Handa kaming magpatawad kung bababaan mo lang yang putang inang pride na yan... Ang taas kasi ng pride mo eh... Tang ina ka, ang yabang mo... May lakas ka pa ng loob na ipagmalaki samin yang Gelpren mo... Ang kapal din ng mukha mo noh? Ewan, ba't ba ko nakikipag usap sayo.. Wala rin namang kwenta dahil hindi ka rin makikinig... Pathetic... Nakakahiya ka...

Sorry bout that... :รพ Guys, let us make her feel better... I know she really needs someone right now.. Thank you...

posted by icarus_05 @ 7:41 PM Comments: 18

Wednesday, October 25, 2006


Half Crazy...


Days turned into Months...

I lie awake one night, I can't sleep even though 'twas already late, memories of her kept on occupying my mind...

I'm not thinking right lately, all I could ever think about is her, she's not returning my messages anymore, as if she's not really making any effort to do so... I'm turning half crazy everytime I don't see her name at my cellphone... 'Coz, I'm used to that... Every morning as the sun shines, she was always the first one to wake me up, with those sweet messages... But now, even a simple miss call cannot be seen...

At first, I thought that waiting for her was easy... I guess I was wrong... So wrong... Why? What have I done wrong for her to treat me like nothing at all? Never did I broke our promise, I never looked for another woman to replace her, everything I did was all for her, I kept myself busy so I won't miss her that much... No... I can't take it anymore... I can't handle everything alone... Alone... Alone...

I didn't mind the time, for I thought that the time would just flow freely and fast... Yes, it did... I've been waiting for six months now... Funny, it doesn't seem like me... Back at highschool, I was the "playboy" type of guy, I was not that patient... I guess she strucked me through... She changed who I am...

Everytime I go home to our province, the first thing I always do is to look for her... Hoping that we could talk and straighten things out... But no... Seems like she always does something to get away from me... She's always seen running around or doing something important... She won't talk to me... She won't even look at me even for just a second... I hope she can see that I am hurt, wounded and bruised everytime she does that... Asa pa ako...

I just wanted to continue our story, kahit ako na gumagawa ang gumagawa ng effort... Pero, anong magagawa ko kung ang taong pinaglalaban ko ay sinasabi nang talo na ko?.. Ayoko... Mahirap para sa kin na mawala siya, ewan ko ba... Ngayon pa nga lang magkalayo kami natataranta na ako... Haay... Ewan, hindi ko na maintindihan ang sarili ko... Magulo na ang love life ko...

Sabihin nyo nga sa akin... Please tulungan ninyo ako... Makatarungan pa ba kung ituloy ko pa rin ang paghihintay?..

posted by icarus_05 @ 11:24 PM Comments: 18

Saturday, October 21, 2006


Secrets Revealed...


Ok, matapos ang ilang araw... Nako pinahirapan ninyo ako, napakarami ang nagtanong.. hehe.. Sasagutin ko ang mga iyan sa abot ng aking makakaya...

Heto naaaaah...

Karla asked... sino na present labidoobss mooo XD

Haha! Wyena pa rin of course... Kahit na bihira pa rin siya nagpaparamdam, tinitiis ko na lang... Hehe... Ganun ako ka hopeless pagdating sa love! Kilala mo na naman ako Karla eh! XD And si ano... Yung lagi kong ka date sa Ran! :->

Jonnazel asked... kamusta na si icarus ngayon?

Well, Icarus is well and fine! Thanks for asking! Nakapahinga na ng maayos dahil sembreak na! And maybe nextweek makakauwi na ako ng Infanta... :) Watch out, baka matuloy na ang Til They take my heart away series! I hope...

Well, Heneroso asked a very personal question... Here goes...

Heneroso asked... Nagkaroon ka ba ng feelings kay Jaemie? or Elay dati?

Hmm... Ikaw talaga... Kinabahan ako sa tanong mo ah... To be honest.. Yes... Para sa mga bloggers na hindi nakakakilala sa kanila... Si Jaemie po ang aking childhood chum, she was my bestfriend for almost 10 years. And Elay was my HS Espwen, pero ngaun di na siya nagpaparamdam, I dunno why... Ayan ah! Nagkagusto ako sa kanila nung HS na ko, I attempted to court Jae noon, pero nabigo ako... Haha! Si Elay naman, wala akong balak ligawan... Masaya na ako sa pagiging bespren niya... Ayokong masira ang aming pagsasama ng dahil lang sa feelings ko...

Pam asked... how are you? kelangan mo pa rin ng girlfriend?

Haha! Nice one... Ok naman po ako... Medyo nakakaahon na mula sa mga problema ng kahapon... Girlfriend? Yeah! Kailangan ko pa rin ng Girlfriend! Isama ko na rin sina Jhed at Chino... Hekhek! Huway ju asked?! :->
Gary asked... ano ang totoong dahilan sa hindi paglaro ni bonbon custodio sa 2nd game ng final four against UST?
Ayon sa kumakalat na chismax sa Campus, binenta daw niya ang laro laban sa uste sa halagang 100k at isang kotse... Hindi ko sinasabing naniniwala ako, dahil yan ay haka haka lamang... Kung ano man ang dahilan, si bonbon lang ang nakakaalam... Ayokong magsalita sa mga bagay na wala akong kamalay malay.. hehe.. (Parang galit ah..) BTW, congrats nga pala sa USTe, talagang pinag dakdakan pa ng school nyo ang pagkapanalo nyo at kitang kita sa buong Espanya ang inyong pagka champion! hehe.. (Galit ulet ah...)
Faye asked... ung tanong ko 2ngkol dun s post mo na "jealousy"...si j_ _ _ _ _ a ba?

Opo, hindi ka nagkakamali, siya po iyon...
Ang pahabol... naka-isip na ba kayo ng pangalan ng banda nyo?

Nyahaha! I'm not the brains of the band, I only play the drums! Asked mo yung dalawang nag tatag ng banda! hehe.. As for now, "Elmoy" pa rin.. XD
Kuya Rowjie asked... anong kanta ang masasabi mong kanta ng buhay mo?

Hmm hirap nito ah... (Searches iTunes...) Iba-iba ang kanta ng buhay ko eh... Depende sa sitwasyon na tinatahak ko... Kung isa lang naman, hmmm... Pare Ko... Hehe, many times na kasi nangyari sa akin ito eh... Pero not with a kolehiyala! :) Hmm, hindi ko talaga alam kung pano sagutin ito hehe... Sorry Kuya Rowjie!
Mara and Potpot asked... musta?
Ok lang naman po ako! Thank you for asking! Kayo? musta?!
Chino asked... yung mga moooooooooshy posts mu ba about getting over some1 o directed lamang sa iisang tao??
Hmm, some of the stories that I made are for someone... Sa mga gusto kong patamaan at sa mga nagpapatama! Hehe.. Meron na rin akong ginawa na for "getting over someone" at meron na rin na directed lamang sa isang tao... Pero, majority of the stories are fictional... Ok? Fictional... Hehe... Promise, maniwala man kayo o hindi...
Adrian asked... bakit "chabs" ang nickname mo?

Haha! Napansin mo rin?! Anyhoo... Originally, ang nickname ko talaga ay Chavi or Chabi that came from my name which is riCHArd keVIn gets? Hehe, when my classmates back in grade 6 discovered my lame nickname, Ginawa nilang "Chabs" para naman daw mas bagay pakinggan kesa sa Chabi... (Hindi naman daw kasi ako mataba para tawaging Chabi...) Another theory was... Mataba daw ako nung baby pa ko... Sino bang hindi?

Edgar asked... una: sino? sino ang tunay na baliw?...
pangalawa at pangatlo: kung ikaw ay magiging superhero sino ka? at ano ang iyong superpowers?

Una: Sisa? O si Ate Glow? hehe... Choose at your own risk... Pangalawa: Tulad nga ng sinabi mo, gusto ko maging sugo... Sugo ni Kupido! Hekhek... Sounds cheesy.. Anyhoo... Pangatlo: Kumbaga sipa sa tagiliran ako ni Master Kupido, at ang hawak ko ay laser gun at hindi bow and arrows... Siyempre, modern na hello!.. Babarilin ko ang mga walang pakialam sa mundo, ang mga walang pakialam sa kalikasan, ang mga nag-aaway na magkatipan, ang mga magkaaway na bayan, ang mga magkakaaway at mga pinaglalaruan... Dahil paano magkakaroo ng peace kung walang love diba? Pag nangyari sakin ito, uunahin kong patamaan ang mga tao sa gobyerno para naman magkaroon sila ng malasakit sa mga sakop nila... Langya... At ang aking punchline ay... "Was here! Spreading Love..." ;)

Jheanne asked... 1] nako! bat hindi kita nakikita sa chapel?!, 2] naniniwala ka ba na binenta nga ni bonbon ang game 2 naten vs. UST?, 3] bakit sobrang proud ang UST nung matalo nila tayo? sa kadahilanang nagpagawa pa sila ng malaking banner na nagsasaad ng "WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS", 4] totoo ba si super inggo? o si capt. barbel? o di kaya si pedro penduko? at, 5] bakit ang panget ng ending ng majika?!

Huwaw, ang dami... 1]Sori, dahil hindi na ako masyadong active ngayon sa CCP, pagbalik ni father promise, babalik na ako doon! Mag enroll ka na ng umaga next time para naman magkita na tayo! Hehe... 2]Oo, at hindi... bow... Ayoko na magsalita ng kung ano-ano, mahirap na, taga UE ako.. baka ako pa ang madale ng aking mahal na Pamantasan... 3]Haha, hindi ko rin alam, tanungin mo sina Heneroso, Jhed at iba pa.. Hehe.. Patay, maraming taga USTe na bloggers at kakaunti lang tayo! XD 4]Sila'y mga hakahaka lamang at mga "Fairy Tale" bidas na inimbento ni Carlo J. Caparas at iba pa... Sila ang ginawang simbolo ng mga story writers upang gawing Inspirasyon at tularan ng mga kabataan... 5]Panget ba? Sorry, di na ako nanunuod ng TV eh, marahil ay sa kadahilanang mahirap mag isip ng matinong ending sa isang kwento... Promise... Kahit ako...

Vinkz asked... Ilang babae na ang nagpatibok sa puso mo. At sinu-sino sila?

Ayos ah.. Hehe.. Marami na ring mga babae ang nagpatibok ng puso ko... Pero sad to say, hindi lahat naging akin.. Hekhek... Ung una nung grade 5 ako.. Well you could say it is puppy luv!, Yung pangalawa nung 1st year ako, sad to say basted ako... Next was, 2nd year, siya yung textmate ko... My 1st long distance relationship.. Next was nung 3rd yr ako, 2nd yr yung GF ko... No comment bout that... 3 times akong nainluv nung 4th year... Yung isa, siya yung dahilan kung bakit ako lumipat ng Infanta, 2nd Siya yung ex ko... 3rd syempre si Wyena, na hanggang ngayon ay hinihintay ko... Ngayong college... Well nakwento ko na siya sa "Jelousy" post ko... No comment bout that. Maraming crushes, pero wala lang yon! hehe.. So kung ittally mo lahat.. 4 lang naging GF ko.. Believe it or not! P.S. Some of them appeared in one of my stories! Try to find them there! ;)

Sa wakas... Tapos na! hehhe... Sana'y nasagot ko ng maayos ang mga tanong ninyo! Kung may gusto pa kayong malaman tungkol sa akin... I add nyo na lang ako sa YM at magpakilala kayo... Nasa profile ko ang aking YM Id! :) Pasensya na doon sa mga hindi ko nasagot ng maayos... Ang hirap eh! Hehe.. Lalo na kay kuya Rowjie, sori talaga! hehe.. Anyhoo, mahaba na ito masyado... Promise, I'll come up with a better post next time! :)


posted by icarus_05 @ 3:06 AM Comments: 16

Thursday, October 19, 2006


Random muli...


Kaka sembreak lang namin... Oo, grabe ang UE no? Late nagpapa sembreak tapos maaga nagkaklase... Ok lang naman sakin un.. Mas gusto ko ngang tumatambay sa school.. Kesa sa bahay lang..

Walang magawa dito sa bahay, sobrang tunganga lang at naghihintay ng senyales sa hangin para naman may magawa... So ngaung wala akong magawa.. At wala rin akong ma post... eto na lang..

Gusto ko gayahin yung post nila Heneroso, Kironobu, Jhed etc... Mukhang masaya at nakakaintriga! hehe.. Tsaka sa lahat ng mga gustong makakilala sa akin.. Dito na kayo humirit! XD Game..

Ask me anything.. I'll answer it on my next post :) ok?! I'm gonna post the answers after 10 or more comments ok?! :) Sana maki usyoso kayo hehe...

Sige dito na lang.. Lame post.. hehe.. RAN mode.. sayang 2x..

posted by icarus_05 @ 7:16 AM Comments: 16

Tuesday, October 17, 2006


Childhood Boogie...


I didn't mind the world... For I was free...

The day was great for a stroll outside. The sun immediately shone his glory unto the world after the rooster's crow... I stood up, got dressed and went outside... The streets were empty, seems like everyone is still asleep, but I can't wait any longer... One by one, I knocked at the gates of my friends' houses, hoping that they were already awake... Eventually, they came out, still with the sign of the sandman who visited their houses... Wiping their eyes and still yawning... "Heey! Come on! Let's play!" I shouted with laughter... They all smiled and immediately went outside...

"Taya ka na!" each of us shouted as we took our turns on being the "it". Our little voices and laughters were heard even from outside our subdivision... Yes, we were having fun... Those were the days... Those were the days that we were free... From the worries of the world, free from the problems of the government, young, innocent, and free... As the sun went up above the heavens, the bell rang... Shouting that it was time for lunch... Pretty soon, the streets would be empty again... As we ate our lunch, all we could ever think about are the laughters and the joy that we shared with each other... The games that we played from morning til night... And the gust of wind as it touches our skins everytime we run... Yes, it was all I could think about...

Whenever the sun waves at us, we always wave back at him at our houses' rooftop... We could see the sun smiling, I know he also enjoyed our company, he also enjoyed watching us right there... I can now see the moon coming... Asking us if she can also play with us...

"Tagu-taguan maliwanag ang buwan, pagbilang ko ng sampu, nakatago na kayo!" The "it" shouted as the moon shares her glow... It was the perfect time to play taguan... I was the it that time... Yes, I know the feeling of being a "burot". We played and played until it was already late... "Anim! Pito! Walo! Siyam! Sampu! Andito na koooh!" I shouted... I turned around and started searching for them... Minutes and hours passed, still I couldn't find them... "Where are they"... A security guard saw me, and told me... "Little one, they all went home an hour ago... You go home too ok? It's already late..." I smiled with embarassment surrounding my mind... Went home with my head bowed down... Maybe it is getting late... I should call it a day...

Tomorrow will be a different story...

Miss those days?... Yeah... Me too...

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posted by icarus_05 @ 12:42 AM Comments: 12

Friday, October 13, 2006


Jealousy...


I'm sorry... I'm so sorry...

The blinding light from the fluorescent lamp shined troughout the whole room as I opened the dors and flicked the switch... There was no one there, I guess I'm too early for the 7:30 bell...

I sat at my desk and fell asleep while waiting for my classmates... Even though my eyes are closed, I am awake... Eventually I heard the closing and opening of the door... Finally, I'm not alone, I opened my eyes to see the person who entered.. I saw her there, sitting at the corner, listening to her mp3 player...

I sat beside her and greeted her a good morning. She gave me her sweetest smile... For a while, we sat there at the corner, but she was quet, she never uttered a word... Maybe because I'm quiet too... For I was too shy to even move mouth... Or maybe... Maybe because she's waiting for someone... And not me...

From the very first time I entered this room, She was the 1st person who greeted me "hi!" I can never forget that day... It was the first day of classes, every freshmen such as myself are all quiet, silent as a sitting rock, waiting for someone to move them... I entered the classroom looking for an empty seat, there at the corner she waved at me, I smiled with wonder, but then she pointed at an empty chair beside her and asked me to sit there... Of course I accepted her offer. "Hi There!" she uttered... I smiled at her...

Our story was not different from our classmates, communication builded up our relationship. We've got even closer as every minnute passes by. Every quizzes and every seatworks I'm always there for her... To help her out in every possible way I can. As months flew by, I planned to court her... But then... I guess I was too late...

She's been hanging out with my friend... Especially when goung out to lunch, I'm always left behind, again alone in this room of light.... I didn't know what to do.... Everytime I walk with her, he is also there too, the two of us always accompanied her everywhere. But I felt this wasn't right....I felt the negative vibes entering my innocent self... Yes, from that moment, I knew what I felt.... I felt jelous...

Quiet Again. sitting beside her... In this room filled with blinding light and only the sound of the air conditioner was our background music... I took a last glimpse of her... I know here in my heart. I will never forget that face. I will never forget this corner where we first met. As I took my last chance to touch her hair, I said to her... "Hey. I guess this is goodbye." She looked at with pure curiosity... I just smiled at her.

Just before the tears same out, my classmate came in laughing and yelling jokes. I know it will be hard for me to get over her... But looking at my classmates, I know I can do It, in never alone... I have them.

Thank You CBA, Thanks guys... Happy Vacation See you when I see you...
I'm so sorry... Really...

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posted by icarus_05 @ 2:39 AM Comments: 9

Tuesday, October 10, 2006


Broken Smile...


Things will never be the same...

An agonizing pain woke me up this morning... My tooth is hurting badly because my Third Molar a.k.a. the Wisdom Tooth is growing... But this is different... From what I've heard... My third molar is not growing normally... It pushes my 2nd and 1st molars... I'm suffering from this pain for almost a year now...

I woke up crying from the pain... I immediately stood up and went to the computer area, where I saw my mom reviewing her lecture... (She's a dentist by the way... You must've heard her from the radio... Dr. Ma. Lourdes M. Coronacion D.M.D.) "Mom... I can't take the pain anymore..." I cried to her... I knew she felt my pain, so immediately went to the conclusion... "Anak, pabunot na natin yan..."

I never declined her offer... For she is a dentist, she knows what she's saying... I just told myself that this is much better than the other option...

Two options were given to me by my Mom... First is to wait for a certain dentist (I forgot the name, she is one of the professors of my brother in UE) who went abroad... For she practices "Root Canal"... This is the method of killing the nerves that connects the tooth... My mom told me that this is much painful than the other option which was... Yes... Pull of my 1st molar... I can't wait any longer for that dentist so I chose the 2nd option... I thought that it will be just like snapping my fingers... I thought that it will be less painful... But damn...

In UE, I can't speak... My tooth really hurt bad... But I never forgot to smile at my classmates... Maybe this will be the last time that they will see me smile... I skipped the Class Review that we planned and immediately went to my mom's clinic... I ate my lunch at McDo and consumed 2 medicines that my mother recommended... Pain Reliever I suppose...

As I was getting closer to the clinic... My heart starts beating louder and louder... Yes, I was nervous... This was the very first time I felt nervous in going to the clinic... I went in and my Mom's Assistants saw me... Seems like they were waiting for me all along... "Let's go?" one of them asked... "Let's do this" I answered...

Sitting in the dental chair... The first stage of the pain was implemented... She applied anesthesia on my gums... Imagine... 2 Times... I was pierced by a long syringe... Then I immediately felt the effect of it... My mouth felt numb... They gave me two stress balls on each hand and Immediately went to the process... They blindfolded me so I can't see what they are doing... Even with the blindfold on, I still can feel what they are doing...

I heard sucking sounds from a device... I didn't know what that was coz' my eyes were covered... Pain starts to build up... I uttered silent moans... Then it happened... One of them held my jaw to keep it open... The other one starts to pull off my tooth... I squeezed the stress ball as hard as I can... My whole body is shaking... I was screaming silently... Then it gets painful and painful every second... My scream is getting louder and louder.... Then I heard a crack... My tooth was pulled off... Still feeling the pain, tears starts to fall from my eyes... Crying silently... Wishing that this is all over...

I was wrong... "Meron pang naiwan... Onti na lang ok?" One of them uttered... Immediately hearing that, I squeezed again the stress ball... This time, it didn't help a lot... They pulled of the roots slowly but hardly... "AAAAAAARRRGHHH!!" If you are studying at FEU-NRMF, you must've heard my scream... I cried... I cried my whole heart out... Damn, this is more painful than being rejected by someone! This is more painful than being punched in the face! I felt like I was dying, It was like, million needles are piercing my gums... "Yan! Tanggal na... Tapos na..." Even though it's over, I can still feel the pain... Damn, I won't forget this day... Argh... I can endure every month of suffering from ulcer, but damn, this is intolerable...

Right now, I still can't look at the mirror... I'm scared to look at myself... I'm scared that I won't see that smile from me again... That smile that I'm proud of for 16 years... Damn... I hate to admit it, but I know I must... At a very young age... I'm wearing implants... Dammit...

As I type this, I'm constantly spitting blood... Damn... It hurts like hell... I don't want to go to the dentist again... Argh...

Thanks to Dr. Emma and Dr. Raine... And to my mom of course...

posted by icarus_05 @ 11:54 PM Comments: 12

Monday, October 09, 2006


The Melodies of Life...


The only thing that revives my broken soul...

Nang pinili ko ang career sa bowling, unti-unting naglaho ang isang bagay na napamahal ako lubusan... Nawala ang isang bagay na nagpapabuhay sa akin tuwing ako'y pagal at nanghihina... Nawala ang musika sa buhay ko... Oo, malungkot, malungkot na malungkot... Sapagkat wala na ang dating sigla tuwing ako'y kumakanta, nawala na ang sigla nang may mga kasamang sabay na sumusunod sa bawat himig ng gitara... Naiwan na lamang sa mga ala-ala...

Nung ako'y tumungtong ng kolehiyo, sinabi ko sa sarili ko... "Hinding hindi ako hahawak ng gitara, hinding-hindi ko sasabihin sa mga bagong kaklase ko na marunong akong tumugtog ng instrumento..." Ito ang ginawa kong "challenge" para sa sarili ko para malaman kung kakayanin ko bang mawala pansamantala ang musika... Matapos ang ilang linggo... Kinausap ako ng aking mga "NFF"... "Coronacion, marunong ka bang mag drums?".. Natigilan ako panandali... Mukhang... Mukhang ako'y natutukso... Hindi, ayoko, huwag! Haay, hindi ko napigilan... "Ah, oo, pero onti lang... Sa totoo lang, gitarista ako..." Yun ang lumabas sa bibig ko...

Inaya nila akong tumugtog sa isang studio na malapit sa UE, doon sa tinatawag nilang "bodega"... Noon lang uli ako nakahawak ng "drumsticks" matapos ang apat na taon... Nakakapanibago, sapagkat hindi ito ang "forte" ko... Tinanong agad nila ako kung alam ko ba ang ganito, ganyan... Ngunit ako'y umoo lamang kahit hindi... Dahil puro "punk" at "emo" ang kanilang binabanggit na kanta... Bago lang sa akin yon sapagkat ang genre ko talaga ay Rock, Acoustic, kumbaga... Rockoustic... Pero nakumbinsi sila ng mga kaklase ko na nagsilbing audience na tugtugin ay ang mga sikat na OPM pangkasalukuyan... At least, alam ko ang mga iyon kahit papano... Nung una, nagkakamali pa ako... Napapahiya ako sa mga kaklase kong, hayop sa galing mag gitara... Sinabi ko sa sarili ko.. "Nako, mukhang hindi kami tatagal..."

Nagkamali ako, nang tumagal, mas lalo pang lumakas ang samahan naming magkakabanda... Nagkasundo rin kami sa aming mga genre... Habang tumatagal, hindi na kami nagkakamali.. or rather, hindi na ako nagkakamali... Napraktis ako, kahit wala akong drumset sa bahay... Pero hindi pa ako "magaling"... "marunong" lang...

Akala ko, tuluyan nang nawala ang pinakamamahal kong musika... Akala ko, nawala na nang tuluyan ang bumubuhay sa akin... Pero, nagkamali ako... Hindi ko maiwanan ito, hindi ko makalimutan ito... Kahit sa sandaling panahon lang, pinipilit kong hawakan muli ang kasama sa bawat problema... Ang aking gitara... Masarap pa rin pala ang pakiramdam... Ang bawat pag strum nito at pag kinig sa bawat himig na lumalabas mula dito... Nakakakalma, matahimik...

Sa kabilang banda, ito rin ang natatanging daan upang malabas ko ang lahat ng sama ng loob naka ipit sa ikaibuturan ng aking puso... Sa bawat palo sa snare, clappers, hi-tom, mid-tom, floor-tom, cymbals at pag tapak sa bass drum... Sa bawat sigaw ng aking mga kabanda tuwing kami'y nagkakantahan... Sa bawat palakpak ng aking mga kaklase bilang pag pakita ng kanilang suporta... Napakasaya... Dito ko nararanasan ang pagiging malaya... Kahit isang oras lamang, kahit sa sandaling panahon lamang... Malaya ako... Kasama ng musikang pinakamamahal ko...

"Idaan sa musika ang bawat problema..." Ito ang lagi kong sinasabi sa mga kaibigan kong nawawalan na ng pag asa... Kahit sa maliit na paraan, sana ay makatulong sa kanila ito... Tulad na lang ng pagtulong nito sa akin...

"Aanhin pa ang gitara, kung wala nang pag-aalayan ng musika?" Ito ang inimbento kong motto... Haha! Medyo corny pero, iyan ang nararamdaman ko noon... Nawalan ako ng inspirasyon ika nga... Nawalan ako ng "urge" na gumawa muli ng composition... Pero mali pala ako... Nandyan naman pala si God... Saka niya ko na lang inalay ang bawat tugtog ng gitara ko... Sa kanya ko ibinigay ang bawat paghimig ko... Sa kanya...

Wyena... "The music that we shared together... Will forever play here in my heart..."

posted by icarus_05 @ 12:11 AM Comments: 10

Wednesday, October 04, 2006


Moonlight Sonata...


Night Sky... Moonlight... Stars...

The cold breeze touched my sleeping soul one morning... I woke up noticing the silence...It's so quiet... Very quiet... Immediately, after hearing the rooster cry, I stood up and sat at the terrace... There, I observed the rising sun... I envy the sun... For he rises every morning despite of the darkness that came before him...

As I was watching the sun, somebody covered my eyes... I touched the hands and felt that she was a girl... I can never forget those hands... Hands as soft as cotton, hands as lonely as the flowers around... A hidden smile was seen upon my face as I said... "Good Morning... Wyena..."

She slowly released her hands that covered my eyes, and gave me a soft embrace... Joy covered my while soul... My heart pounded hardly and I know she felt it too... "It's been a long time..." I gently whispered... "Really? I hardly even noticed!" she answered... Silence occupied the moment... The silence was deafening... I must break it...

"I Missed You..." we both whispered at the same time...

Then we walked at the seashore... As she was smiling, amazed at the beauty of Mother Nature... I was looking at her... Amazed by her beauty... The day passes by so quickly, but never did she released my hands... Our hands was one that day... I never wanted to let go... I want this moment to last forever...
The day turned into night... The winds were more colder than before... The moon shines her light very brightly... It was very beautiful... We stopped there for a while... Noticed the aurora... She smiled, very happily... "Beautiful" She said... "Yeah, very beautiful..." I gently whispered as my eyes gazed upon her... She looked at my eyes... Her eyes were shining... From that moment, I felt love from her... I felt love from her, once more... I felt the romance flowing around the cold air... As the howling winds shared its melody, and the moon was its main attraction... She sang to us her best song... As our eyes met that very moment... I slowly came closer, attempted to kiss her... She never rejected... Slowly... Slowly... Slowly... Then...

"OK! Pass your papers, finish or not finish!..."

I woke up...

_______________________________

Someone asked me before... "Where do you get your stories?", "Where do you get your inspiration?"
Well this is my answer... I dream of them... Just like this one... Inspiration? I don't have one at the moment... I dreamt of this story when I was sleeping on an exam... Haha! Maybe I miss Wyena too much... No... Not maybe... I really miss Wyena so much...

Labels:


posted by icarus_05 @ 11:02 PM Comments: 10

Monday, October 02, 2006


Hiding Behind a Mask...


I'm an Actor, without his stage...

I'm not myself lately... The feeling of being alone is taking over my whole consciousness...

This letting go thing is making me crazy... Akala ko nung una, madali lang ang mag let go sa isang tao... For days now, I've been feeling some sort of "withdrawal syndrome"... Ewan... Siguro dahil, nasanay ako ng lagi siyang nariyan upang pasiyahin ako... Lagi siyang nariyan upang lambingin ako, yakapin ako... Lalo na ngayong umuulan na kailangan ko ng kayakap... Marahil ay hindi ko pa pala kaya na bitiwan siya... Marahil ay mahal ko pa nga talaga siya... Dahil kahit anong tanggi ang gawin ko, laging may ginagawa ang tadhana upang pabalikin ang mga ala-ala ko sa kanya...

Kahit anong gawin kong pagpapatawa, kahit ilang beses akong magpakita ng mga ngiti, lumalabas pa rin ang katotohanan... Hindi kayang itago ng maskara ang aking pighati... Marahil ay saya at tawanan ang ipinapakita ko sa labas... Pero naramdaman nila ang kalungkutan na ikinikimkim ko sa aking dibdib... Iba talaga kapag may karanasan kang umarte sa entablado... Alam mo kung papaano i-arte ang lahat ng bagay. Alam mo ang arte sa hindi na hindi nahahalata ng mga tao... Pero hindi ko akalaing pwede pala itong magamit sa totoong buhay..

Ang katotohanan ay lalabas din, kahit anong gawin kong pagtago... Hindi ko na kaya... Alam kong may problema ako, ngunit hindi ko alam kung ano ito... Hindi ko alam... Nasisiraan na ako... Wala lagi sa kondisyon, wala lagi sa pagkatao... Minsan masaya, minsan tahimik... Tulala sa kawalang... Tulungan nyo ako... Tulungan nyo akong hanapin ang problema... Tulungan niyo akong ibalik ang musika sa aking puso... Maibalik ang dating ako... Ang dating Icarus na nakilala niyo...

Kay sarap matulog... Matulog ng panghabambuhay... Humimlay sa malambot na kandungan ng inang kalikasan... Kasabay ng bulong ng kanyang amihan...

Kay sarap pagnilayan... Ang matatamis na pangakong iyong binitawan... Mga pangakong tuluyan nang napako... Sa silakbo ng kawalan...

Kay sarap manahimik... Manahimik panandali... Pag-isipan ang mga bagay-bagay, na gumugulo sa dibdib...

Kay sarap umupo... Kasabay ng mga ibong humuhuni... Sa sandaling pamamahinga... Doon ko nararanasan ang ligaya...

Kay sarap marinig... Marinig ang iyong mga salita... Bawat pangarap mo, at bawat banggit na mahal mo ako...

Sana lang totoo ang lahat... At hindi ako nananaginip... Marahil ang lahat ay bala't kayo lamang, at ang mundo'y nakatago sa likod ng maskara...

Sino kayang hahawak sa aking mga kamay? Sino kaya ang magbibigay sa akin ng bagong buhay? Ang bagong buhay na matagal ko nang pinangarap... Ang bagong buhay na matagal ko nang hinahanap... Sino kayang mag aalis ng aking maskara... Ang maskarang puno ng pagpapanggap at kasinungalingan? Sino kaya ang gigising sa akin... Gigising sa akin sa katotohanan? Sa katotohanang lagi kong tinataguan... Sa katotohanang lagi kong inaayawan.. Dahil alam kong hindi ikaw ang makikita ko roon... Gusto kong manatili sa pangarap na ito... Ang pangarap na ikaw lang ang katabi ko... Ang pangarap na tayo lang hanggang sa huling hinga ko... Ayoko nang hinaharap... Gusto ko lang ang nakaraan na... Ayoko nang matapos ang mga panahong iyon... Pero wala na akong magagawa... Nangyari na ang dapat mangyari...

Sino ka man... Sana'y tulungan mo akong makabangon... Makabangon sa panaginip na ito... Sana'y pag gising ko, ako ay yayakapin mo... Yayakapin mo ng mahigpit... Sapagkat sa bawat yakap lamang ako nabubuhay... Dahil sa bawat yakap, nararamdaman kong hindi ako nag iisa... Kung sino ka man... Sana magpakita ka na... Sana magpakilala ka na...

Umaapaw na ng pag ibig ang aking puso, na dapat ay nakalaan para sa kanya.. Ngunit sa sobrang pag taas nito, unti unti itong natatapon... Nasasayang lang... Iniwan ang puso kong punong puno ng pagmamahal sa yo... Ni hindi ka man lang kumuha kahit kakapiranggot lang... Ni hindi mo man lang ako sinubukan... Hanggang dito na lang ba? Dito na ba nagtatapos ang ating kwento? Ito na ba ang wakas?.. Sana ay hindi pa... Hindi pa.. Hindi pa...

posted by icarus_05 @ 7:30 AM Comments: 7

Sunday, October 01, 2006


Something Missing...


I'm not feeling 100% lately...

Why? Even I don't know... I dunno where to start looking for myself... And lost and I don't know why... It even affected my bowling... Maybe something is missing... Do you guys know what? Maybe I need something... Maybe I need time for something or someone... I had all the time I need... Sumobra na nga eh... But nobody even cared for me...

I think I know what is missing... Nawala na ung pakiramdam ko na "comfort". Nawala na ung feeling na inspired. Nawala na ung feeling na warm lagi... Nawala na ung feeling na mayroong isang someone diyan na sinusuportahan ka sa lahat ng gagawin mo... Everywhere I look, it's always the same... Damn...

I need someone to love other than bowling and myself... I need someone out there to care for me and support me in everything I do... I need someone who would be there kapag hindi ko na kaya... Handa silang ibigay ang kanilang balikat upang pagbalingan ng sama ng loob... I need someone... I need anyone... Damn, I need a girlfriend...

posted by icarus_05 @ 1:07 AM Comments: 12

The Music they shared
Locations of visitors to this page


The Author

Pseudonym: Icarus05
Birthday: April 25, 1990
Address: Novaliches, Quezon City
Province: Infanta, Quezon
School: University of the East
Course: Computer Science

Sports: Bowling, Volleyball

Hobbies: Bowling, Playing Guitar, Writing Stories, Writing Songs, Chatting, Blog hopping, Stargazing, Flyff-ing, Playing Ragnarok

About me: Single and Waiting! ;) A night person, very passionate and dedicated to everything I do, A lover trying to find himself and his true place here in the world...

Lost in this cold place, Never knowing where to go, I need you, I need someone, I need anyone


Posts



Archives


Stories

Theater Life
My textmate, my soulmate
Endless Journey
Our Rendevous
Til' They Take my heart away
The Taste of Love
The Hymn of the Tree
Our Last Anniversary
Goodbye
Moonlight Sonata
Jealousy
Childhood Boogie
The Festival of hearts
Time Withers
How she took my heart
Our last dance
The Cure for the Common Hitch
A Dreamer's Lullaby
A Vision of a Broken Heart
Of Tears and Metamorphosis
Sa Mata ng Kalawakan
Panahon na Naman
The Lost Paradise
The Fate's Dagger
The Coin


Sign of Life




A way out of the darkness



The Island

I would like to thank...
  • Photoshop 9 CS2
  • Me for the patience.
  • Blogger for the Blog space.
  • Karla for the Template.
  • Utakgago for the photoshop and template tips.
  • And to you my fellow bloggers for welcoming me here.

Finally, with your support, I managed to grab the award! Thank you Guys so much! But still, Vote for your favorite blogs...
Vote for the deserving


4th Placer for week 14 and 15.

2nd Placer for week 16 and 17

Filipino Blog of The Week for Week 18


Hall of Famer through Fast Track

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