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Saturday, November 15, 2008
Tears fell down my cheeks as the night began to get cold. My heart pounded violently, I couldn't stop crying. It's been months since my heart had been broken, but still, I couldn't seem to get over it. I looked at the full moon that night as I stood upon the edge of the terrace. The winds became colder and colder each second. I looked around, hoping that somebody would give me a warm hug. Nobody was there, it didn't felt right. It didn't felt right, because, I was used to being alone. But then, that night felt different. Sadness overtook my whole consciousness. I couldn't take it anymore, all of a sudden, I broke down. My knees suddenly touched the ground. Tears continued to flow down my cheeks. I felt the cold winds slowly covering my whole body. I closed my eyes for a bit... Suddenly... A blinding woke me up from the darkness. I felt a very warm embrace. Her hands covered my body as her hair touched my neck. I felt her mouth, slowly touching my left ear. I felt goosebumps all over my spine. But, it felt good. She then opened her mouth, I heard soft whispers; whispers that marked a smile on my face... "It's okay, don't cry. I'm here, you're not alone." Her embrace tightened, I felt the warmth of her words through her hug. I closed my eyes as tears fell down from it. A soft smile was now visible upon my lips. I turned my head just so I could take a look at her eyes. Her eyes shone like the full moon. I felt shivers down my spine, but in a good way. "Don't be sad, okay?" Her words touched my soul. I felt calm. Tears stopped flowing down my cheeks. She touched my cheeks and slowly wiped my tears. We looked at the stars that night. The wind became colder and colder. I closed my eyes for a bit. I couldn't utter a single word. I've never felt this feeling in a long time. What could it be?.. All of a sudden... I woke up...
The sun blinded my eyes, as I looked at the brand new day. I felt that warmth all over again. I closed my eyes for a bit as I whispered... "Thank you, thank you so much..."
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Meron pa ba? Sana... Nakita kita kagabi, ibang iba na ang hitsura mo. Mas lalo ka pang gumanda, hindi na kita makilala. Mukha ka namang masaya na sa kalagayan mo, pero ako?.. Ano nga ba?.. Tinitigan kita ng matagal, hindi ka makatingin sa akin. Mukha kang maraming iniisip, ako nama'y hindi makakilos ng maayos. Nanginginig ang katawan ko, marami akong gustong sabihin, mga gustong itanong, pero mas naunahan ako ng katahimikan. Hindi ako maka-imik pag nariyan ka na sa harapan ko. Unti-unting tumulo ang bawat butil ng pawis mula sa noo ko, patungo sa aking palad. Habang lumalalim ang gabi, mas lalong lumalakas ang kaba ko. Pati ang pagtibok ng aking puso, hindi ko mapigilan... Pero, akala ko, ako lang ang nahihirapan. Halata sa mga mata mo na hindi ka rin makakilos ng maayos. Napansin ko rin na napapatingin ka ng bahagya. May mga panahon na nagsasabay tayo ng tanaw, ngingiti ka lamang at ako'y sasagot sa isang pabirong kindat. Sinubukan mong ngumiti, alam kong nahihirapan ka... Pati ako... Hindi ko talaga lubos maisip, kung bakit biglang nagbago ang isip mo. Hindi ko maintindihan. Tuumulo ng bahagya ang luha sa mga mata ko, tinakpan ko lamang ito ng aking mga kamay para hindi mo makita. Pinigilan ko ang mga ito sa pagtulo sa pamamagitan ng pag ngiti ko. Mas lalo pang lumakas ang pag nginig ng katawan ko. Muli kitang tinignan, hindi maipinta ang ngiti sa iyong mukha. Marahil ay may iniisip ka rin. Kapareho kaya ng iniisip ko?.. Habang lalong papalapit na ang katapusan ng gabing yaon, mas lalo kong napagtanto na, hindi ko pa pala kaya. Hindi ko pa kaya na wala ka sa piling ko. Naiinis ako, sana talaga pinigilan kita. Mayroon pa rin sa kaloob-looban ng puso ko, naghahangad na sana'y bumalik ka na. Hanggang ngayon, di ka pa rin mawala sa isip ko. Oo, mahal pa rin kita... Mahal na mahal pa rin kita... Ngunit kailangan kong indahin ang lamig ng gabi, ngunit kailanan ko nang tanggaping wala ka na sa tabi, Nag - iisa, wala ka na... Wala ka na, nag - iisa... Nag-iisa, wala ka na - Noel Cabangon Labels: Decision Making, Drama, Emo Moments, Love Life
Thursday, October 23, 2008
*Nosbleed tagalog up ahead. :P* Mapipigil mo ba ang damdamin basta basta? Nakahiga na ako sa aking sariling mundo. Nakakapagod ang araw na ito, pero kahit anong gawin ko, hinding hindi ako makatulog. Pinilit kong ipikit ang mga mata ko, ngunit nanginginig lang ang mga ito. Para bang may mga luha na gustong lumabas mula sa pagkakakubli. Nagpatugtog na lamang ako, para na rin pampatulog, baka sakaling gumana. "Coz' I'm missing you so bad. Now that you're not by my side." Hindi ko na rin napigilan. Dahan-dahang tumulo ang mga luha sa aking mga mata. Napadilat ako bigla, napatunganga sa kawalan. Hindi ko na kinaya ang sakit na nadarama. Ang sakit... Sobrang sakit... Ito ang pangalawang araw na wala ka. Akala ko, matapos kong maitulog ang lahat, magiging maayos na ang lahat. Oo, nung una, nakakangiti pa ako. Alam kong hindi totoong mga ngiti iyon, pero kahit papaano, masasabing pinipilit ko namang maging masaya. Nakakasalita na ako, nakakahinga na ako ng maayos, nakakakilos na ako ng matiwasay, lahat ng dati kong ginagawa, nagagawa ko na. Naisip ko na, ayos at normal na ang lahat. Akala ko lang pala iyon. Mapalinlang nga naman ang puso... Pilit ko mang kalimutan ang gabing iyon, lalo lang siyang bumabalik sa akin. Para bang langaw na kahit ilang beses mong paypayin, balik lang ng balik sa iyong mukha. Ang hirap pala kapag sariwa pa ang sugat. Kahit anong pilit mong gamutin iyon, mas lalo lamang sumasakit. Gumagalaw ang oras, bawat minuto, bawat segundo, mas lalong lumilinaw ang imahe mo sa isip ko. Ang daming ala-alang naiwan; mga ala-alang gusto ko pa sanang madagdagan; mga ala-alang inisip ko na hindi na mawawala habambuhay. Mapalinlang nga naman ang puso. Ganon pala iyon, pag pinilit mo, mas lalaki ang pursyento na hindi mo makuha ang gusto mo. Ang labo ng mundo, ang labo... "After all this time, after all that we've been through. Baby, aren't you hurting too?" Kahit na nakatingin ako sa kawalan, maraming pumasok sa isipan ko. Kung paiikliin, isa lang ang magiging konklusyon... Ang tanga ko. May magagawa ako, alam ko, pero hindi ko ginawa iyon. Alam kong may magagawa ako para mapigilan ang pag lisan niya. Pero, natakot ako. Natakot ako na pag pinilit ko pa, baka lalo lang siyang mapalayo sa akin. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko noong mga panahong yaon. Para bang, gusto ko nang matapos ang pag uusap namin, para lang mapag-isa ako. Pero hindi, makulit ako. Gusto ko pa ng sobra sobrang sakit. Siguro, may gusto rin akong malaman mula sa kanya. Gusto ko sigurong malaman noon kung bakit bigla na lang nag bago ang isip niya. Ang labo. "One day you're here, and the next you are gone...." Alam kong may iba pa siyang rason. Pero sa ngayon, ayaw ko pang malaman iyon. Masakit pa, sobrang sakit. Iba talaga ang sakit, kapag puso na ang nasugatan *thank you, friend*. Pero tulad nga ng sinabi ng kaibigan ko, "Ang mga bagay na pinapayo mo sa ibang tao, ay mas epektibo sa'yo". Marahil nga, mas epektibo sa akin yung mga lagi kong payo. "Let time heal. Let tomorrow heal today..." Nalulungkot ako, nalulungkot ako ng sobra sobra. Pero alam kong proseso lang ito na dapat pag daanan. Kailangan lang siguro na hindi ako magpadala sa mga emosyon ko. Masyadong maganda ang mundo para iwan. Masyadong mahalaga ang buhay para wakasan. Oo, gusto kong maging maayos ang lahat sa aming dalawa, pero alam kong hindi iyon mangyayari sa ngayon. Kailangan maayos ko muna ang sarili ko. At pag dumating ang araw na iyon, magsisimula ako ng bago. Isisiguro ko na sa araw na iyon, maipagmamalaki mo na ako. Pangako iyan. "Mapipigil mo ba ang damdamin, kung nasanay nang umibig sa'yo?" Missing You - Freestyle Mapipigil mo ba? - Freestyle Jigsaw - Lucida Salamat ng marami, kaibigan... Sobrang salamat... Labels: Decision Making, Drama, Dreams, Emo Moments, Heart to Heart Sessions, Love Life
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Wait for my return. I'll be back soon :) Just practicing some writing styles and writing new materials ;) Expect more stories when I come back. Missing the blogosphere :) Labels: Hiatus
Sunday, April 13, 2008
I held on to the card on my hand and took a last glimpse at her... Naputol ang himbing ng aking pagkakatulog nang biglang tumunog ang aking telepono isang umaga. Pagkatingin ko, tumatawag na pala ang aking tatay. Hindi ko ito sinagot dahil akala ko ginigising lang niya ako, kaya kinansela ko ito at sinubukang matulog muli. Naputol nanaman ang aking tulog nang bigla ulit siyang tumawag makalipas ang ilang segundo, sa ngayon, sinagot ko na ito... "Anak, pumunta ka nga sa iskul ni Dyan at kunin mo ung report card nya, di na ko makakabalik eh, wala ka naman lakad kaya ikaw na lang kumuha..." Wala na akong nagawa, di naman kusang pupunta sa bahay namin yung report card na 'yon. Nagmadali akong nagbihis at pumunta na sa eskwela. Tanghali na noon, mataas na ang araw. Nakakasunog ang sinag nito, nakakabulag. Malas pa no'n at walang masakyan. Tumatagatak na ang pawis ko pero tiniis ko na lamang ito. Naghanap ako ng silong at doon na rin nakakita ng masasakyan. Sa wakas. Medyo siksikan sa jeep pero tiniis ko na lang, basta lang makasilong. Nagbayad na ako sa drayber, at makalipas ang ilang minuto, nakarating din sa paroroonan ko. Tinakpan na ng mga ulap ang haring araw, luminaw sa paningin ko ang isang gusaling minsan na ring naging parte ng buhay ko. Dalian akong pumasok rito para makasilong bago pa man umalis ang mga ulap. Pag pasok ko, daliang bumalik ang mga ala-ala sa isip ko. Bigla ko na lang nakita ang sarili ko, naglalaro sa ilalim ng puno malapit sa may gate, batang-bata pa, wala pang kamuwang-muwang sa tunay na mundo. Pinigil ko ang luhang malapit nang lumabas sa mga mata ko at pumasok na sa loob para makuha na ang report card ng kapatid ko. Pag pasok ko pa lang sa pintuan, sinalubong na agad ako ng aking dating guro nung elementarya. "Aba! (tumigil siya habang nakaturo sa akin) Ano ginagawa mo dito?" "Sir, si Richard po ako, di mo na ko kilala? Kunin ko po card ng kapatid ko..." Bigla siyang tumawa sabay tapik sa aking balikat. Nakitawa na lang din ako at iniwan ko na siya do'n. Nagmadali ako dahil ayoko na manatili pa sa lugar na 'yon. Hinanap ko na agad ang section ng kapatid ko, di naman ako nahirapan sa paghahanap, nakita ko agad ito. Nakaupo doon ang kanyang adviser, hindi ko siya kilala, marahil ay bago lamang siyang pumasok doon. Nakikipag usap siya sa dati kong science teacher noong hayskul. Hindi nya ko napansin, pero nakita ako ng teacher ko noon at tinuro ako. Agad naman akong kinausap ng adviser. "Ah, kay Dyan ba? 'eto card nya, pirma ka dito tapos bigay mo rin 'tong dyaryo (school paper). Hinihintay niya yan, kasi featured siya diyan." Hindi ko muna tinignan ang nasabing dyaryo, agad akong nagpasalamat sa adviser at nagpaalam na din. Dalian akong lumabas sa gusali, wala na akong pakialam kung mainit man ang panahon. Paglabas ko, tinignan ko na ang grades ng kapatid ko. Walang bagsak, matataas lahat. Itong ito rin yung mga grades na pinangarap ko noong hayskul pa ko. Nainis ako sa sarili ko, nagtatanong kung bakit hindi ko sineryoso ang buhay ko noong hayskul. Kaya ngayon, nahihirapan ako sa buhay kolehiyo. Tumigil ako sandali, tinignan ang eskwelahang minsan na ring naging parte ng buhay ko. "Salamat sa mga memorya..." Dalian akong nakahanap ng jeep at umuwi na, iwan-iwan ang mga mapapait na karanasan sa dati kong paaralan. Pero minsan na rin sumagi sa isipan ko na... Miss ko na pala talagang maging isang highschool student... Labels: Drama, Dreams, Emo Moments, Random
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
Sabi nila, 'wag mo daw hanapin ang pag-ibig, kusa daw itong dumadating sa atin. Dapat lang maging patient. Pero pa'no mo nga naman malalaman kung nasa harapan mo na ang taong hinihintay mo kung wala kang ginagawa kundi mag hintay? Naikot ang mundo ko sa katagang yaon. Maghintay... Maghintay... Pero minsan, sumagi din sa isip ko, nakakasawa din pala yung puro na lang hintay. Minsan, naisip ko na 'wag na lang ituloy ito, pero ano bang magagawa ko, kung sa lahat ng ginagawa ko ikaw at ikaw pa rin ang pumapasok sa isip ko? Maaari nga siguro, napasok ka na sa sistema ko. Ni minsan, hindi kita makalimutan. Sinubukan kong mag hanap ng iba, pero wala rin nangyari. Mas lalo pa akong nahulog sa iyo. Hindi na kita ma-alis sa isip ko. Ayoko rin namang mawala ka sa buhay ko. Kaya heto, ano bang magagawa ko diba? Hintay... Ang hirap nga namang magmahal ng taong may mahal ng iba... Labels: Drama, Emo Moments, Killing Time, Random
Monday, February 18, 2008
He never said a word, until that night... Everybody felt alive that day, everybody seemed to be excited on that day's event. There was a slight chill in the winds, but the everybody didn't seem to mind it. I too, was excited of what was going to happen that day. It was our christmas party, the highlight of the school year. I wanted to know what's it like celebrating christmas with new friends and new school. Everybody was talking about it, they were saying that the event was the most awaited event of all students, especially the lovers. They were starting to get ready for the night, except for one person. He pulled his armchair beside the window and sat on it. He looked at the mountains outside, without a single word coming out of his mouth. He didn't care about the hassles that were happening around. He just sat there, as if thinking of something. He picked up his guitar and started playing the song that he made. It was wonderful. He played it like he was in love with the music. He sang it with all his heart. Slowly, I sat beside him, listened to the melody that he plays. "What are you doing?", I asked. He just smiled as he said, "Nothing, I was just practicing a song." He put the guitar down very slowly and stood up as he said, "Come on, we have to practice. We're going to play for the night's event right?" I smiled and agreed. So we went on our way. The day seemed to pass by so quickly, the sun immediately made way for the moon. I went to the school early that time so I could set up the instruments needed for the program. I was with my classmate that moment, but he was quiet once again, never uttered any single word. He just looked at the stillness of space as he was tuning the guitars. Sweat fell down from his forehead, and his hands were shaking. I could hear his heartbeat from across the room. I could tell from his actions that he was thinking of something. He wiped down the sweat, stood up and freshen up a bit. "I guess we're all set. Are you ready?" He said with a smile on his face. He showed a smile, but his eyes showed his true feelings. I could feel that there's something he wanted me to do. But I didn't know what. And then it happened. Lights filled the auditorium as the people danced their spirits all night. They all looked very happy and lively, but I was right at the stage, holding a guitar. I looked at them with pure envy as they asked me to join them. I couldn't, for it was already time for our performance. I stood up as he walked to the centerstage. He held his guitar and went to the microphone. It made a very disturbing feedback, everyone just laughed. "Sorry about that." He said, with the same smile on his face. He looked at me and gave me a signal. I agreed with a nod. "This one's for the couples here tonight. Let's make this night last forever shall we? How about we fill the auditorium with love?" The people shouted, and slowly the noise faded as he plucked the guitar. He had a good singing voice, just right for making the girls fall for him. He could hypnotize everyone with the melodies that were coming out of his vocal chord. The room immediately filled with trance. I could see the people, each with a partner. I could feel the love that time. I looked at him as he continued to sing. Suddenly, he stopped after he sang the refrain, but he signaled us to continue playing. And so we did. Everyone didn't seem to notice that he stopped, probably because they were happy dancing on their own worlds. He put the guitar down and walked fast through the door. He didn't stop until he was covered with darkness. We wondered, but still we continued to play his song. After a while, he entered the room again, but this time, he was not alone. He was with a beautiful lady, looking a bit speechless and clueless of what was going on. I smiled, for I knew what he wanted me to do that time. Everybody stopped for a while as they noticed him entering the room. He smiled at me as I handed him the microphone. He portrayed a different person that night. The quiet, mysterious leader of the band, became a person filled with hope and love. "Shall we dance?" he said with the microphone on. Tears fell from the young lady's eyes as she wrapped her arms around her partner. We continued to play, but now, he was singing on the tune again. The serenade awed the whole place. We watched them right there at the center stage as they danced their way through the hands of time. I stared at the stillness of space as I wondered... "When will be my time?.." Labels: Drama, Stories from the heart
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The Music they shared
The Author
Pseudonym: Icarus05 Birthday: April 25, 1990 Address: Novaliches, Quezon City Province: Infanta, Quezon School: University of the East Course: Computer Science Sports: Bowling, Volleyball Hobbies: Bowling, Playing Guitar, Writing Stories, Writing Songs, Chatting, Blog hopping, Stargazing, Flyff-ing, Playing Ragnarok About me: Single and Waiting! ;) A night person, very passionate and dedicated to everything I do, A lover trying to find himself and his true place here in the world... Lost in this cold place, Never knowing where to go, I need you, I need someone, I need anyone Posts
Archives
Stories Theater Life My textmate, my soulmate Endless Journey Our Rendevous Til' They Take my heart away The Taste of Love The Hymn of the Tree Our Last Anniversary Goodbye Moonlight Sonata Jealousy Childhood Boogie The Festival of hearts Time Withers How she took my heart Our last dance The Cure for the Common Hitch A Dreamer's Lullaby A Vision of a Broken Heart Of Tears and Metamorphosis Sa Mata ng Kalawakan Panahon na Naman The Lost Paradise The Fate's Dagger The Coin Sign of Life
A way out of the darkness
The Island
I would like to thank...
Finally, with your support, I managed to grab the award! Thank you Guys so much! But still, Vote for your favorite blogs... Vote for the deserving 4th Placer for week 14 and 15. 
2nd Placer for week 16 and 17 
Filipino Blog of The Week for Week 18 
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