Rages From the Heart: March 2007

I tried to look for you... But...

Sweat covered my whole body as I woke up in my room, even though my aircon is on... I was exhausted, inhaled every air I could ever breath... Yes, I had a very scary dream... No, not a dream involving ghosts or something like that... A dream... I dreamt of her...

I had a very close friend... A friend whom I would never forget in my entire life... A friend who changed my wholeself into a better person... I fell inlove with her 2 years ago... She was the reason why I studied in our province at the first place... Because, I wanted to be with her... I wanted to be close to her as much as possible... I wanted to see her everytime the sun rises... That is all I ever wanted... But then, I wasn't lucky enough to have her... I knew she was too good to be true... She will never feel the same as I do...

The Dream...
I was watching the television when my cellphone beeped... I was surprised, because one of my Highschool friend texted me... He told me of a shocking story...

"Gusto ko sanang sabihin sayo ng personal, pero hindi naman kita nakakasama lagi, kaya dito na lang... Alam mo bang wala na si *Insert name here*? Matagal na, ilang buwan na rin..."
I was stunned by what I have read... But then I didn't budged that easily... I didn't want to believe his story... I want to find out for myself... Just to be sure, I went online, Immediately logged in into my friendster account... And saw a BIG change in my profile... When I say, BIG I really meant it... Everything changed... But that wasn't important... I could change that later...

I recieved another message from a Highschool friend... She told me a joke... A joke that wasn't even funny... A joke that made me cry...

"Uuuy, ang sweet naman niya... Lam mo ba, nakasulat sa tombstone nya regards to my very special friend, sana palakpakan ninyo siya when he become famous... Alam nyo naman kung gano siya kahalaga sakin..."

From that moment on, I cried... But I still didn't want to believe... I cried out onto the heavens... A shout that could be heard from all over the world...

Why did you leave me all alone here?... Please Come Back...

I woke up and realized, it was only a dream... But it didn't felt like a dream... It was like, everything really happened... I cried out loud, and immediately prayed to God... I looked at my cellphone to check the time... It was 2:45 in the morning... I tried to sleep but I wasn't able to... So I went out to open the computer... I knew that in this hour of morning, I can't really talk to anyone... But then, here's my blog, waiting for me... Immediately I've written what I have dreamt... It is now 3:46 am...

Maybe I just missed her too much... Maybe, I still feel the same way as 2 years ago... Maybe... But I'm not really sure... I hope everything is all right...

If you're reading this... I want to see you, as soon as possible... If you're not doing anything... Wala lang... I just want to hug you... And tell you how much I really miss you all this time...

I want to be on the stage with you again... It was the most memorable experience of my life... My first play on the stage, with you...

I miss you na prinsesa ko, akala ko ba habang buhay tayong magiging magkaibigan? Kokak! Wag mo akong iiwan ah? Nag promise ka... Kokak!

I just hope, everything that I have dreamt will not come true... Only God knows how much you meant to me...